What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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