What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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