What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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