What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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