What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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