What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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