What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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