What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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