What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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