What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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