What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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