What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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