What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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