What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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