What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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