What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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