What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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