What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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