What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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