What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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