What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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