What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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