What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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