What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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