What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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