What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper

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