What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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