What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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