What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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