What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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