What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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