What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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