What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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