What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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