What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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