What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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