What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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