What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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