What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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