What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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