What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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