What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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