What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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