What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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