What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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