What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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