What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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