What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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