What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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