What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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