What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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