What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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