What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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