What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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