What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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