What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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