What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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