What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
Canvas not available.

or


I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
Canvas not available.

or


What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

Canvas not available.

or


Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
Canvas not available.

or


What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
Canvas not available.

or


How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.

Canvas not available.

or


How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.

Canvas not available.

or


What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!

Canvas not available.

or


What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
Canvas not available.

or


What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

Canvas not available.

or






© Copyright crapjoke.com 2017-2024