What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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