What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.

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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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