What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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