What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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