What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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