What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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