What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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