What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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