What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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