What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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