What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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