What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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