What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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