What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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