What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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