What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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