What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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