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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?
An in-car-nation.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?
Got two fives for a ten?
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A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
That isn't funny!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?
Let's get crackin'!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.
I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?
No way Hose A.
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What music does cheese listen to?
R & Brie.
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