What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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