What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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