What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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