What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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