What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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