What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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