What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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