What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.



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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!

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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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