What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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