What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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