What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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