What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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