What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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