What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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