What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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