What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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