What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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