What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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