What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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