What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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