What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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