What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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