What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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