What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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