What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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