What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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