What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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