What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper

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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

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