What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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