What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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