What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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