What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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