What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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