What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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