What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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