What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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