What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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