What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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