What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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