What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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