What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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