What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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