What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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