What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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