What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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