What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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