What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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