What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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