What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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