What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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