What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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