What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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