What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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