What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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