What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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