What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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