What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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