What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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