What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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