What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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