What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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