What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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