What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.

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