What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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