What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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