What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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