What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!

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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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