What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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