What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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