What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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