What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.


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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.

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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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