What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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