What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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