What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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