What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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