What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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