What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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