What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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