What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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