What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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