What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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