What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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