What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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