What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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