What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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