What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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