What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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