What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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