What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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