What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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