What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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