What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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