What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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