What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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