What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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