What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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