What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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