What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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