What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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