What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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