What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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