What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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