What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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