What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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