What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.

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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

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