What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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