What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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