What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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