What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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