What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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