What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
Canvas not available.

or


What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
Canvas not available.

or


How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
Canvas not available.

or


Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
Canvas not available.

or


I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
Canvas not available.

or


Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
Canvas not available.

or


How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
Canvas not available.

or


What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
Canvas not available.

or


How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
Canvas not available.

or


What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
Canvas not available.

or






© Copyright crapjoke.com 2017-2026