What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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