What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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