What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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