What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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