What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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