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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?
No one can eat just one potato ship.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
It might be your bicycle.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?
Silent night!
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What did one hair say to the other?
It takes two to tangle!
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?
She wanted to see a butterfly.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that's just nuts
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Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station.
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