What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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