What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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