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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?
Pointless
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?
Flood lights!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.
It's a total rip-off.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.
When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Went to the paper shop -
it had blown away.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?
So he could grade his eggs.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?
Start with two million.
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