What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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