What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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