What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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