What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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