What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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