What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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