What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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