What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
Canvas not available.

or


What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
Canvas not available.

or


What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
Canvas not available.

or


How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
Canvas not available.

or


Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
Canvas not available.

or


What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
Canvas not available.

or


How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
Canvas not available.

or


Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
Canvas not available.

or


How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
Canvas not available.

or


I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
Canvas not available.

or






© Copyright crapjoke.com 2017-2026