What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

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