What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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