What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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