What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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