What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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