What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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