What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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