What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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