What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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