What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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