What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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