What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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