What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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