What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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