What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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