What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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