What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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