What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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