What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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