What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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