What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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