What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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