What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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