What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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