What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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