What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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