What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.

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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.

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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

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