What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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