What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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