What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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