What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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