What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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