What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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