What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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