What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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