What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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