What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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