What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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