What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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