What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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