What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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