What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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