What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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