What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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