What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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