What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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