What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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