What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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