What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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