What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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