What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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