What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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