What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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