Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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