Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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