Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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