Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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