Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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