Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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