Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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