Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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