Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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