Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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