Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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