Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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