Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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