Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.

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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis

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