Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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