Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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