Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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