Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.

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