Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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