Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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