Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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