Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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