Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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