Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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