What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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