What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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