What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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