What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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