What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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