What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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