What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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