What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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