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What's the first thing a musician says at work?
"Would you like fries with that?"
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?
A dino-sewer.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?
Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?
To see how long he slept.
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What is a cow's favorite place?
The mooseum.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!
If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?
Forever 21
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What kind of ties can't you wear?
Railroad ties.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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