What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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