What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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