What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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