What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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