What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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