What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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