What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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