What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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