What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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