What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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