What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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