What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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