What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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