What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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