What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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