What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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