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What's the first thing a musician says at work?
"Would you like fries with that?"
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me
Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?
Coffin drops!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
There are footprints in the butter.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?
Railroad ties.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??
None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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When can't you see a cheese?
When it's pasteurised...
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?
In their Sleevies!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?
"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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