What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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