What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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