What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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