What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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