What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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