What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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