What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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