What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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