What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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