What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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