What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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