What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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