What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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