What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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