What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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