What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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