What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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