What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck

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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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