What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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