What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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