What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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