What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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