What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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