What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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