What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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