What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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