What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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