What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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