What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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