What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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