What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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