What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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