What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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