What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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