What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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