What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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