What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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