What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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