What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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