What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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