What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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