What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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