What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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