What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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