What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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