What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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