What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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