What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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