What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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