What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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