What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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