What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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