What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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