Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
or
None. There never was any light bulb.
Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
or
The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
or
"Let me see your birth certificate".
or
Chips AHOY!!
or
He made an illegal ewe turn.
or
Catch it in the Winter!
or