What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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