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What's the tallest building in the world?
The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. There's a primitive for that.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?
The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. It turned itself in.
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Why did the calendar write its will?
Its days were numbered.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?
Their personalities.
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I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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