What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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