What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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