What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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