What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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