What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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