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What's the tallest building in the world?
The library, because it has the most stories.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A lawn moo-er.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?
Caerphilly.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?
Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:
"Pint please, and one for the road."
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
Fo Drizzle!
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