What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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