What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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