What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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