What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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