What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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