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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?
A porcupine with split ends
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.
They keep dropping their trunks.
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How do you make a band stand?
Take their chairs away!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?
Call a chairman.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers
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What do ghosts eat for supper?
Spooketi
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What do you call the king of vegetables?
Elvis Parsley.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
All of them.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?
An in-car-nation.
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