What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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