What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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