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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?
A porcupine with split ends
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What's green and loud?
A froghorn.
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How much does a hipster weigh?
An instagram.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh
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Which reindeer likes to clean?
Comet
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What is a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?
With flood lighting.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?
Bugs Bunny.
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