What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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