What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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