What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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