What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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