What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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