What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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