What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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