What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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