What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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