What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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