What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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