What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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