What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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