What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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