What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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