What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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