What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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