What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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