What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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