What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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