What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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