What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.

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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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