What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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