What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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