What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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