What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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