What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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