What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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