What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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