What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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