What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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