What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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