What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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