What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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