What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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