When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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