When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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