When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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