When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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