When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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