When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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