When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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