When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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