When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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