When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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