When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.

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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.

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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!

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