When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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