When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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