When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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