When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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