When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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