When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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