When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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