When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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