When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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