When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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