When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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