When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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