When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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