When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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