When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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