When the spider spied her!
or
Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
or
Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
or
A pork chop.
or
Because he wanted to tie the score!
or
but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
or
Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
or