When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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