When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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