When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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