When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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