When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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