When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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