When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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