When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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