When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.

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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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