When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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