When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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