When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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