When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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