When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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