When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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