When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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