When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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