When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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