When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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