When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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