When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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