When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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