When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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