When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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