When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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