When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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