When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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