When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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