When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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