When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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