When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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