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When do you go on red and stop on green?
When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?
To get a mini soda
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What is a cow's favorite place?
The mooseum.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?
In sundae school.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
Lilly.
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What did Delaware?
A New Jersey.
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