When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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