When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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