When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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