When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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