When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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