When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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