When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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