When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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