When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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