When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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