When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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