When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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