When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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