When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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