When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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