When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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