When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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