When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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