When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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