When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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