When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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