When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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