When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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