When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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