When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!

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