When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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