When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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