When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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