When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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