When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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