When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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