When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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