When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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