When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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