When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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