When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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