When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.

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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).

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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).


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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.

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