When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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