When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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