When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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