When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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