When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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