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When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a garage.
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Why did the banana split?
It saw the ginger snap.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:
"Pint please, and one for the road."
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed to be trimmed.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?
He was board.
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