When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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