When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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