When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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