When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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