When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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