When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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