When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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