When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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