When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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