When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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