When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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