When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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