When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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