When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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