When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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