When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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