When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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