When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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