When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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