When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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