When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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