When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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