When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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