When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats

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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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