When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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