When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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