When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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