When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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