When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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