When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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