When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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