When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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