When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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