When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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