When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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