When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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