When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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