When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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