When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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