When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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