When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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