When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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