When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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