When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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