When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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