When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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