When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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