When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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