When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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