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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
When you're a mouse.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?
Gator-Ade.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!
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What has four legs but never stands?
A Chair!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.
It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?
Silent night!
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