When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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