When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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