When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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