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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
When you're a mouse.
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What did one magnet say to the other?
I find you very attractive.
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How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the g
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",
he said "Not you again".
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why do you bring fish to a party?
Because it goes good with chips.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.
It was a Shih Tzu
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