When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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