When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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