When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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