When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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