When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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