When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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