When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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