When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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