When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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