When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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