When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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