When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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