When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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