When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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