When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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