When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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