When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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