When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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