When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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