When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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