When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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