When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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