When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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