When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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