When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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