When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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