When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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