When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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