When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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