When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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