When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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