When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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