When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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