When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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