When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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