When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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