When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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