When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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