When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!

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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!

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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.

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