When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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