When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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