When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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