When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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