When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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