When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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