When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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