When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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