When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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