When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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