When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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