When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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