When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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