When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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