When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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