When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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