When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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