When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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