When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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