When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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