When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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