When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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