When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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