When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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