Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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