Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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