Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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