Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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