Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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