Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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