Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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