Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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