Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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