Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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