Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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