Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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