Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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