Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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