Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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