Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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