Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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