Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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