Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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