Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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