Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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