Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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