Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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