Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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