Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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