Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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