Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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