Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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