Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.

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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".

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