Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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