Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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