Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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