Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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