Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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