Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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