Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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