Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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