Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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