Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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