Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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