Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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