Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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