Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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