Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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