Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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