Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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