Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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