Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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