Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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