Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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