Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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