Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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