Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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