Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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