Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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