Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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