Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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