Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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