Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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