Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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