Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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