Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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