Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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