Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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