Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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