Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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