Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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