Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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