Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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