Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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