Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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