Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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