Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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