Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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