Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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