Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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