Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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