Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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