Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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