Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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