Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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