Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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