Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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A seal walks into a club...
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