Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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