Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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