Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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