Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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