Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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