Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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