Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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