Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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