Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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