Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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