Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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