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Where can you find a good lawyer?
In the cemetery
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?
To the dock.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?
At forks in the road.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?
It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb
Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?
Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?
A scale.
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Why was the piano player arrested?
Because he got into treble with the cops
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?
Make America Hate Again.
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