Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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