Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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