Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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