Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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