Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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