Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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