Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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