Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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