Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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