Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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