Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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