Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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