Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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