Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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