Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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