Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!

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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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