Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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