Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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