Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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