Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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