Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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