Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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