Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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