Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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