Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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