Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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