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Where can you find a good lawyer?
In the cemetery
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What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's a light-year?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What pine has the longest needles?
A porcupine.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
Booberries!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?
On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,
I just can't think of one atm.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?
3 blind mice.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?
We make perfect cents.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
Get out of my sun!
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