Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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