Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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