Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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