Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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