Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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