Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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