Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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