Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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