Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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