Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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