Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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