Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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