Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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