Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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