Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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