Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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