Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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