Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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