Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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