Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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