Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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