Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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