Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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