Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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