Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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