Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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