Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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