Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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