Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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