Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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