Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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