Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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