Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

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