Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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