Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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