Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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