Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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