Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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