Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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