Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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