Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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