Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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