Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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