Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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