Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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