Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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