Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck

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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.


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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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