Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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