Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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