Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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