Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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