Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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