Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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