Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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