Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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