Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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