Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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