Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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