Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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