Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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