Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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