Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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