Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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