Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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