Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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