Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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