Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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