Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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