Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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