Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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