Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.

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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

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