Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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