Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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