Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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