Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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