Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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