Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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