Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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