Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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