Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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