Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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