Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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