Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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