Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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