Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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