Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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