Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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