Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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