Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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