Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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