Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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