Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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