Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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