Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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