Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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