Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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