Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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A seal walks into a club...
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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