Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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