Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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