Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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