Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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