Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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