Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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