Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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