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Where do cars go for a swim?
At the carpool!
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?
The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?
Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?
Because he's Haydn.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?
Gator-Ade.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?
Root beer.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?
Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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