Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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