Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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