Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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