Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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