Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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