Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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