Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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