Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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