Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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