Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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A seal walks into a club...
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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