Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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