Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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