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Where do cars go for a swim?
At the carpool!
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?
Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call a scared train?
A fright train!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??
What's a light bulb?
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?
Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What did the alien say to the cat?
Take me to your litter.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?
Put him in the front seat.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?
Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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