Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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