Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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