Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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