Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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