Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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