Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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