Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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