Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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