Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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