Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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