Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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