Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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