Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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