Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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