Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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