Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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