Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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