Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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