Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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