Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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