Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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