Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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