Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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