Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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