Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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