Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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