Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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