Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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