Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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