Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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