Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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