Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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