Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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