Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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