Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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