Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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