Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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