Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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