Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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