Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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