Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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