Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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