Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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