Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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