Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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