Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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