Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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