Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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