Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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