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Where do cows go on Saturday night?
To the mooooooovies.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?
Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?
They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?
Catillacs
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.
The guardians of the galaxy!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?
They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
He was looking for Pluto.
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What did the dog say to the flea?
Stop bugging me
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