Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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