Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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