Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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