Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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