Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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