Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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