Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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