Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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