Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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