Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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