Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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