Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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