Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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