Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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