Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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