Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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