Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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