Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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