Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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