Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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