Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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