Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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