Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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