Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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