Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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