Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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