Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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