Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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