Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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