Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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