Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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