Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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