Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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