Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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