Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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