Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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