Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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