Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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