Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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