Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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