Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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