Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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