Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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