Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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