Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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