Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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