Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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