Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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