Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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