Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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