Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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