Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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