Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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