Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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