Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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