Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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