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Where do ghosts buy their food?
At the ghost-ery store!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.
She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?
Railroad ties.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What's a royal pardon?
It's what the queen says after she burps.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?
When it's full.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?
Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why do you bring fish to a party?
Because it goes good with chips.
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