Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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