Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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