Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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