Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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