Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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