Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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