Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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