Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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