Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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