Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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