Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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