Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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