Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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