Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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