Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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