Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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