Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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