Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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