Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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