Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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