Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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