Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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