Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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