Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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