Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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