Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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