Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"



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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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