Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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