Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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