Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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