Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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