Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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