Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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