Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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