Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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