Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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