Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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