Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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