Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish

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