Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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