Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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