Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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