Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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