Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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