Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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