Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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