Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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