Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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