Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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