Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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