Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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