Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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