Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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