Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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