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Where do horses live?
In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
Not enough sand.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?
At forks in the road.
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Why did the sun go to school?
To get brighter!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?
A centipede on its back!
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What letter can you drink?
T (tea)
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.
The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.
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