Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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