Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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