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Where do horses live?
In the neigh-borhood.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?
Every year!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?
Roosters don't lay eggs!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:
"Pint please, and one for the road."
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?
He was board.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?
Bison
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?
In sundae school.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?
Coffin drops!
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