Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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