Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"

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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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