Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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