Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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