Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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