Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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