Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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