Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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