Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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