Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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