Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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