Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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