Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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