Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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