Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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