Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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