Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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