Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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