Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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