Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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