Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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