Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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