Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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