Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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