Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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