Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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