Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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