Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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