Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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