Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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