Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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