Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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