Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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