Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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