Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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