Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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